Does feeling fed up cost your dear?

I don't know whether our economy is really in the bad straits that the news tells us.  What I am aware of is that  there are plenty of people focussing on what can't happen rather than what can - and that includes the politicians.  Such thinking that certainly impacts people's confidence and willingness to take action.  That makes people fed up, hopeless, and directionless.  Often resulting in very negative behaviours.

Take our survey now and find out how much feeling fed up is costing you, and get our free report to help you take charge, now:-
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When the predominant view for people is what can't happen and what difficult times these are, then that is what they will find.  It is interesting that people do experience more of what is wrong when they are closing down on the possibilities of things being different and possible.  The reason being, that they experience more of what is wrong because that is what they are looking for.  They are looking for confirmation that times are difficult, that our economy makes it impossible to get started on projects - and so ofcourse they will find that confirmation.  What they wont see are the multitudes of possibilities, opportunities and openings that are available, right now.

In contrast we rarely hear of the many new projects getting going and ofcourse the successful business men and women who blew the predictions of difficulty and collapse to the heavens by being creative and seeing the possibilities and consequently making their fortunes.

Tim Ferriss describes this in his blog about the six figure businesses that got started often with less than $100.  These were often people without big bucks, and perhaps what others would describe as no future.  However , they made their futures - they looked outside the box and took action.
http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2012/05/24/six-figure-businesses-built-for-less-than-100-17-lessons-learned/

I found examples of this last summer when I attended the USANA Health Sciences convention. The four day event was hugely peppered with awards to those who had created big businesses - sometimes with no start up funds what so ever.  One of the most remarkable tales was of three young men from the phillipines- one had been homeless and unemployed and the other two were employed but not even earning the national average wage of about $200 per month.  They each grew their businesses from $0 with no money of their own up to $30,000 per annum in 8 months and beyond it.  They created their pot of gold.

No one needs to stick around fed up looking at limitations today.  How we think is a choice, just as are our behaviours.

The impact of negative thinking impacts every aspect of your health and life - take our survey to find out how much being fed-up might be costing you and affecting your life and get our free report on how you can take charge now:-
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Finding Freedom and Happiness!

How we think sets us free or traps us.  How we think allows us to be happy or not.  The remarkable aspect of how we experience our world is most certainly not defined by external events, but how we view them.

In recognising this we are given the most wonderful gift ever.  We do not need to wait for something to happen to be happy, or to have achieved something defined as a success by others to feel pride in ourselves, or for a particular action  to happen to have love in your life.  We can experience happiness, love, pride - at any moment in our each and every day.

If we choose to define our experience according to other people's values and perspectives, we will spend our lives always at odds to our own true values.

Becoming aware of our own values, and learning to appreciate what is good right now, is vital for our effectiveness, happiness and health.  In fact making the decision to choose our focus of attention is as essential to our wellbeing and effectiveness as drinking water, eating healthy food, taking supplements and taking exercise.

Of course some terrible things can happen in life.  I remember when my first baby died and the deep misery that settled upon me; yet on occassions, as I walked our dog around Peckham Rye Park in London, there would be moments when I would find myself out of my internal misery, free, gazing at the clouds in the sky - seeing the shapes, the colours in the clouds - even on an entirely grey day.  At that time I had so much less knowledge and awareness than I do today.  However even then, I noticed that suddenly I was free of the misery of my loss, it made me question whether maybe my grief was not so great.  I came to the conclusion that being able to escape the deep misery that I felt encapsulated by, even for a few moments did not negate my loss.  I learned that it was possible to experience both.  Even today, 21 years later, the acute pain of that bereavement and of later ones, can bubble up as raw as those early days.  I know now that I can choose where I want my focus to remain, and that is what I do.

What I know is that noticing and taking pleasure in simple and random happenings can give me a very deep sense of pleasure and connectedness with the world and nature.  If you think of the times you have really laughed, you will re-connect with those wonderful feelings.

Seeing this young fox in my garden  - gave me such a  glow, and feeling of delight

Loss, love, expectation and happiness have been subjects that have been the source material for poets, novellists and philosophers throughout civilization.  I came across a wonderful quote about happiness  yesterday, by Eleanor Roosevelt:-

'.. happiness is not a goal, it is a by-product'.

This is so true.  Of course at moments of crisis it can take a while to see through the haze, the dust, the sense of bewilderment and shock, yet with the many people I have worked with - as a health visitor, who have been bereaved, or who have had their own life seriously threatened - the majority do find that alongside their grief they also find an equally acute appreciation of life and of the tiny beauties that are every where all the time, when they choose to notice.

Today, I came across this video about Sue Austin - who found magnificent freedom after illness in her teens altered her mobility and required her to use a wheel chair.  Hers is a beautiful example of how we can choose our own perspective and by doing so really begin to have fun, happiness and freedom.  Watch this, please, and watch the faces of the audience as they see beyond their common cultural limitations associated with disability, and are transfixed by Sue's wonderful love of beauty, fun and freedom.

http://www.ted.com/talks/sue_austin_deep_sea_diving_in_a_wheelchair.html

Ofcourse, whilst my blog today has touched on extreme experiences which might trap us or set us free, the habits of thinking that individuals run are first set in early childhood.  These habits are most frequently set in response to the responses and teachings of our parents, grandparents and teachers - in those early situations we made sense of our world, according to our understanding then.  Now we can choose to understand and make sense of the world according to our understanding now.  From this moment on we can choose to take note of what is right in our world right now.

So choose to see and notice what is pleasing, what is interesting, choose to take note of the feel of your every action - without labelling it.  As you begin to notice what is good around you will find more and more.  You will have more and more happiness right now.

7 tips to become more effective! Fast!

Which is more effective?  The person who is very clear about what needs to be done, and gets on and does it, or the person who says 'yes' to everything put before them and who ends up trying to do everything, multi-tasks continuously, gets really frazzled and stressed?  

If you are someone who always feels that saying 'no' will make you unpopular, loose you opportunities, get you into arguments - think again!  There are many reasons for becoming focussed, and assertive.  

Saying ‘no’ can be difficult – especially for individuals who like to please others, or are afraid of conflict, or perhaps of losing opportunities.  However saying ‘no’ comfortably, is vital if you are going to be effective, maintain your self-respect, be able to prioritise, and stay sane.  Saying ‘no’ with clarity sets you as someone who has time boundaries, focus and builds respect in others.

     Recognising your own patterns of response when being asked to do something is very useful.  If you are someone who normally responds with a ‘yes’ very quickly, choose to take more time before you give your response  - tell the enquirer that you will get back to them by the end of the day, for example.  Before you give your response write out the pros and cons – this can help make saying ‘no’ easy and simple.

     Knowing what your own priorities are, is key to filtering many requests.   What are your goals?  Knowing what you are needing to do and knowing what is important for you to achieve your goals and your priorities, can help you filter the requests.  This is important whether you are employed, self-employed or a small business enterprise, you need to be clear on your personal goals and your business/role goals/boundaries. Having time boundaries enables you to filter requests to personal versus business time – and hence to place requests comfortably within the relevant time periods – (eg personal calls during work or business time.)

     Like most things, getting to be familiar with saying ‘no’ makes it easy.  So, reflect on the most frequent situations where you would want to be saying ‘no’, where in the past you always said ‘yes’.  Think of the ways you will now say, comfortably and pleasantly ‘no’ in those situations.  Practice.

     When you say ‘no’ keep it simple.  Don’t apologise or give lengthy explanations.  Giving lengthy explanations makes you seem less certain about your ‘no’ and gives opportunity for the enquirer to get in and try to change your mind.  Keep it simple.

     ‘No’ does not necessarily mean for ever.  If the request fits within your goals, but not your current priorities, you can state when you would appropriately be able to fit the request in.

     When a request does not fit with your criteria, but you know someone that could fit the bill – have a quick word with that person to check they are happy to be put forward, and then when you say ‘no’ put forward the name of the person who could assist.  That way you build your reputation as someone with boundaries, who can be helpful.

     Journaling can give you the opportunity to record your intention to be more assertive, and the areas you in which you wish to make changes.  It helps your brain to know that this is what you are wanting to do and makes it easier.  Written goals are more likely to be achieved than unwritten goals.  So if you want to become an effective manager of your own life – write down where you are wanting to gain greater control – and the ways that you plan to do so.  Each day record your progress and your learning.  Remember to praise yourself every time you manage to say ‘no’.   You will gain so much confidence for having taken control.  You will have much greater pleasure when engaging in the activities you want to engage in – as they will finally be free from the pressing multitudes of unwanted obligations.  

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